Step One: You take an onion

We've all been there. You're at the house party. You're at the club. You're six or seven drinks in. And someone pops the question: "I just wish I knew a decent spaghetti bolognese."

Wouldn't you know it, you have a fantastic recipe for spaghetti bolognese! And you start to explain it – but suddenly someone cuts in! "Is that a red onion or a white onion?" Who cares! Your flow is ruined. You don't even want to explain the recipe any more. You have a miserable evening and go home in tears.

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Forget complex character classes. Forget dice rolls. All you have to do is remain uninterrupted and when all else fails, return to the golden rule: you take an onion.

Step One is a one-page role-playing game for 2+ players suitable for house parties, nights out, coach trips, formal dinners and any other casual social encounter where it would be awkward for people to leave.

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Selected reviews:

• "All I remember is you going on and on about onions?"
• "You were absolutely insufferable on that bus."
• "If you start talking about onions again I'll leave."
• "I wanted to punch you."

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Credits: 

• Writing: Josh McNamee
• Concept: Alex Woolley
• Typesetting: Jonathan Perkins

Please do let me know if you inflict this on your friends, and the level of success you achieve. Bon appetit!